Moans and sighs filled the room as Hokuto watched a man and woman sort of squelching about in the middle of a circular bed. The man was clearly taking his sweet time, giving her slow and deep thrusts, while the woman seemed to want her release soon, as she started pushing back to meet his thrust.
A lot of questions formed in Hokuto’s head. Are they really enjoying the sex with almost a dozen people around them? Is she really okay with being seen getting pumped by a stranger? Did they really think those half-masquerade masks adorned with glitters and feathers could really hide their identity? He sighed and crossed his arms. He is hopeless. What happened to the raging hormones of his youth? Why is he looking at these shagging individuals as though he was watching a documentary and not for what it was, a paraphilic interest, kink, fetish, or just sex? He was thinking too much when he should enjoy being in this real-life Stanley Kubrick movie.
“This is pretty tame,” Juri said. Hokuto couldn’t see his face but he could tell from his voice that he was fighting a yawn.
“Should we look for a threesome-foursome?” Juri asked.
Hokuto sighed. “I appreciate that you brought me here to your exclusive club, but I think I need to go home-”
“No!” Juri snapped. “We’re going to fix your problem.”
“I don’t have a problem,” he muttered.
“Whatever. I think there’s an S&M somewhere, it’s quite popular so expect the room to be packed,” Juri finished and dragged him out of the room, Hokuto’s protests fell on deaf ears. They reached the 3rd-floor landing and were greeted with a very oily foursome on a marble floor. Hokuto had to bite his tongue to stop himself from saying that they should be careful, or they might slide off. They walked further and checked rooms covered with curtains only. Rooms with curtains meant that everyone was invited to watch, while those with locked doors meant exclusivity. They went deeper into the mansion, and Hokuto was starting to appreciate the house’s ritzy design, which he thought was such a shame because he didn’t think anyone would have time to admire it when they were mostly lost in rapture.
“Is that…anal?” Juri whispered when they entered another room. Her back was turned against them and she was riding a cock on her ass. Her alabaster skin glistened with sweat while she moved with ease and urgency as though she wanted to climax so badly.
Hokuto decided to stare at the painting at the ceiling, and it was so absurd that the painting were a replica of a portion of Michaelangelo’s “The Last Judgment”. It was quite ironic that these people were doing the very thing that could have barred them from heaven. While he is also sinning because even though he made a resolve never to judge anyone he would see at this place, anal sex remained taboo for him. He couldn’t imagine doing it to someone, or worse, being the receiver.
“Oh…they are both men,” Juri added with a degree of shock, which made Hokuto look back at the bed.
From cowboy, they’ve shifted to doggy style. The “woman” on top earlier was clearly a man judging by his unmistakable erect penis that shook with each hard thrust. His legs were pretty hairy compared to his smooth torso, while sounds of ecstasy escaped his slightly parted lips. He glanced in their direction and despite a sequined blue mask covering half of his face, Hokuto could clearly see the invitation from his eyes. Those eyes were speaking to him, asking him to start touching himself and jump in. Hokuto shook his head as the man also broke eye contact, he definitely misread it. He wasn't being asked to join the fornication, his eyes must have looked like that because it was clouded with lust and psychedelics, or probably both.
“This isn’t really my cup of tea, are you up for S&M?” Juri asked, but he didn’t wait for a reply as he pulled him away from the room.
Hokuto made a quick glance back, and the man with the sequined blue mask was now lying on his back with his legs propped up. It was as though he was telling the angels and saints in the painting above that they could have heaven, and he’d rather go to hell and have his own kind of heaven.
***
“So the king is pressured to produce an heir, but he is also gay and very much in love with his general, so he asked his general to get the queen knocked up on his behalf.”
Hokuto nodded as Kouchi narrated the plot of his upcoming movie. “Eventually, the general, who I will be playing, falls for the queen, and the king orders my death.”
“So you will fuck the queen?” Kouchi asked, his eyes gleaming with malice. It was like nothing mattered about the plot but those scenes, which Hokuto had some apprehension about.
“Yes and the king will also fuck me,” he said, trying to appear nonchalant while his mind replayed to that scene he saw the other night underneath Michaelangelo’s “The Last Judgment”.
“So you will be used a lot. Front and back.”
Hokuto nodded glumly. “A lot. You will see a lot of my ass.”
Kouchi whistled. “Will there be frontal nudity? Not yours though,” he added quickly as he stopped the car in the driveway.
“Just watched the movie,” Hokuto said and opened the door.
“Do you want me to fetch you?”
“No, I’ll take the taxi home, thank you for dropping me off,” he said and waved his best friend goodbye.
His manager was already waiting for him at the lounge when he arrived at the studio and he couldn’t shake off the unease he started feeling when the director called to meet him again.
"Do you think Shinji-san will replace me?" He asked with worry as they climbed the stairs. There was a lot of backlashes when he was announced to be one of the lead actors for “A Frozen Flower” remake, most backlash was about him not being a "proper actor". Most people still see him as an idol, and there were also growing concerns that such a serious-themed movie would be treated as an extension of his fans’ fantasies.
"We already signed the contract," his manager replied, and Hokuto could see that even he wasn't that confident. “You also passed the audition fair and square, we both know that the agency didn’t want you to do this,” he added.
"Right? Right!" He psyched himself up for this sudden meeting. The director didn’t say anything except asked for his free time, and he could only hope that was not getting sacked.
"Ah, Hokuto!" Shinji-san greeted him warmly. He didn't look like he was about to deliver bad news, but Hokuto still felt uncomfortable.
"Have you spoken to Jun and Shun?"
Hokuto shook his head. It would be his first time working with Sakurazawa Jun and Katori Shun and they haven’t really broken the ice. “Uhm, no. Is there something – ?”
"Well, they already did this before you. Jun was the first one, Shun did this yesterday, and you're next. But of course, I don't want you to think that I'm hindering how you want to tackle this role, but I really think that this could better our movie."
Hokuto nodded even though he still had no idea what he would be doing. "Sure, anything for the movie," he said with feigned enthusiasm.
"Cool! If you permit it, you will be meeting an intimacy coordinator."
"Intimacy coordinator?" He clarified. He thinks he heard the term before.
"Yes. It’s a fairly new profession in Hollywood whose job is to help the actors adjust and make their intimate scenes as comfortable as possible and to ensure that they are not being taken advantage of.”
“Oh…I see,” Hokuto mumbled, and whether he admitted it or not, he might need one in real life.
“I've already told him my vision about this movie, particularly on how I wanted those intimate scenes to be executed. Now, it's your turn to tell him any of your concerns about your intimate scenes, and he will be like your advocate or your negotiator. He won't exactly be directing you, that would still be my job, but he could help you and me to choreograph those scenes that won’t overstep the boundaries you’ve set."
Hokuto could only nod in awe. He had no idea such a profession now existed, and he should have met this intimacy coordinator days ago instead of being dragged to that “house of sin.”
“So do you wish to meet him?”
"Of course, I'll meet him," Hokuto replied all too quickly.
"That’s great then! I'll be leaving the two of you, feel free to tell him anything," Shinji-san said. He got up and knocked on the blue-colored door inside his office, it immediately opened to reveal one of the prettiest faces he had ever seen.
Shinji-san’s guest looked at Hokuto, or more like studied him as soon as their eyes met. Hokuto thought there was something eerily familiar with those eyes, which should be weird because he doubted he would ever forget this man's face if they'd met before.
"Hokuto, this is Kyomoto Taiga, an intimacy coordinator. He just arrived a week ago from Los Angeles."
They shook hands, Taiga's grip was strong but his hand was soft.
"Hi, Kyomoto-san," he replied meekly.
"Please, just call me Taiga."
"Taiga."
They sat across from each other as Shinji left his office and Hokuto realized that his heart had been racing. Suddenly, he was met with anxiety. How could he agree to this? How could he share anything intimate with a man he just met?
"I know this feels odd," Taiga said.
Hokuto took a deep breath and willing himself to relax. He would only be telling Taiga his sex concerns in the movie and not about his real life.
"Quite a bit," he admitted.
"And I apologize that I might make you feel more uncomfortable…"
"Uhm, what do you mean?"
Taiga opened the folder in his hand, and Hokuto thought that this meeting was starting to feel like a therapy session.
"So…" Taiga started, his eyes moved to his crotch, which made Hokuto cross his legs and his action made Taiga smile, "will you let me enter your backdoor?" he asked.
“Back…door? Whatever do you mean?”
“Will you let me fuck you?”
There were a lot of things that could leave Hokuto agog, and being asked to be fuck is clearly one of it. He was not sure whether Taiga was joking or not. He hoped he could think of a witty reply or a strong comeback, but he simply stared like a loony as though he was actually considering agreeing.
“I-”
“Pretend that I was the king,” Taiga said and Hokuto went, “oh!” Of course, Taiga is trying to get into character.
“But I don’t think the king would even ask for permission,” Hokuto replied and realized that he was kind of telling this man that he could just go ahead and do him. “I mean, the king’s words are like gold, right?”
“You have a point,” he said and crossed his legs, “an oversight on my part, but you’re basically saying that you would agree?”
Hokuto cleared his throat. “By you…do you mean my character?”
Taiga nodded. “Of course.”
“Of course,” he repeated and sighed. He didn’t know what he was nervous about. “Whether I agree or not, but considering my role in the palace, and my loyalty to the king…yes, I have to serve him.”
“Do you think your character is in love with the king?”
Hokuto nodded. “He does. He revered him.”
“But your character also fell so in love with the queen that you even betrayed the king.”
Hokuto shrugged. “Plot-wise, I believe the queen is his first taste with women, and I can’t blame him for falling in love.”
“And you still think you were in love with the king?”
Hokuto hesitated before nodding. “Definitely.” He didn’t think they would be doing character analysis and he regretted not delving further into the script yet.
Taiga nodded while he made notes on the pad in that folder of his, even though Hokuto could see that Taiga didn’t fully agree with his assessments of his character, and he was dying to know what Taiga had written.
“How about personally? Would you do anything the director tells you?”
Hokuto’s answer was immediate. “Of course, I’m a proper actor, I follow what the director wants.”
What he said made Taiga raise an eyebrow. “What about your personal boundaries?”
“Well, I’m an actor. I’m contractually obligated to follow the director’s vision.”
“So you’re telling me that even if it makes you uncomfortable, even if it’s encroaching on your personal space, you are okay with that?”
Hokuto wanted to nod, but Taiga had this aura that once he agreed to what he said, that folder might fly to his face.
“You see,” Hokuto started to explain instead, “I’m an idol before I’m an actor. I already get enough flak for getting lead roles, and I don’t want people to think that I’m a difficult actor to work with. So if the director tells me to wank him off and it's part of the script, I would wank him off.” Maybe he should have just agreed to what Taiga said earlier, instead of baring part of his weakness to him.
Taiga smiled, which to Hokuto came off as sarcastic.
“I’ve already spoken to two of your co-stars and I knew that doing my job here is going to be hard. And the main reason is that you guys are too polite and too respectful to your seniors and to the higher-ups to even decline.”
Hokuto nodded, at least Taiga understood the cultural aspect of his work.
“That’s why you should consider yourself lucky because Shinji-san is not only progressive, but he’s doing this to protect his actors. It is true that you’re hired to act, but just like with filming stunt scenes where it needs your consent, where you’re free to use a stunt double, and where scenes have to be rehearsed repeatedly to ensure safety; your sex scenes will be filmed like that. Everything from kissing, touching, and body movements will be choreographed without any of you feeling that you’ve been taken advantage of.”
Hokuto fought not to gape from what Taiga had said. He might not have listened properly to what Shinji-san said earlier it sounded surreal starting with him using the term “choreograph”. He didn’t think that there is a sex choreography. The last time he did a sexy scene for TV, the director only informed them about their blocking and they just did it how it was in the script; kiss, straddle him, remove his clothes, fall together on the bed, and so on.
“That’s why it’s important that I know your concerns and your preferences. What are you and what are you not comfortable doing? Where do you draw the line?”
Hokuto had no answer to his questions, well, he had the answers but he didn’t know how to voice them out. He’d gotten used to saying “yes” all the time and he trusted his directors enough to know what was needed for the movie.
“Let’s do a body mapping for example,” Taiga suggested.
“Body mapping?” Hokuto clarified.
“Yep, please stand up.” Taiga walked closer to him until they were feet apart. His eyes look really familiar, or maybe he just found them striking, but also intimidating.
“This is an exercise where we color parts of our body with green and red. Green means okay to touch and red means hands-off.”
Hokuto nodded as Taiga raised his hands to chest level, his palms up as though he was offering him something as he told him, “if you will allow me to guide you.”
Hokuto felt like a woman being asked for a dance as he placed his fingers on Taiga, who then caught both of his wrists. Despite Taiga’s dainty-looking fingers, Hokuto could easily tell that this is the hold of a man, strong with a feeling that he is claiming his possession.
“This is something you will do with your co-stars before you filmed a scene. It’s not limited to sex scenes, but anything that would involve touching. Now…” To Hokuto’s surprise, Taiga placed his hands on his chest.
“My chest is green,” Taiga said with a stern-looking face, while Hokuto tried his best to maintain a passive look. He kept on repeating that he is an actor, this is merely acting, and it was not like he hasn’t touched a man’s chest before.
“Uhm, okay…” He could feel Taiga’s leanness underneath the fabric of his hoodie.
Taiga steered his hands up on his shoulders, up to his neck and jawline, and all the while, he kept on saying, “this part is green.”
“Cheeks and nose...”
Hokuto swallowed hard as he could feel his face growing hot, Taiga had a small face that his hand alone could cover everything, and his eyes went wide when his hands half-covered Taiga’s face.
“All green up to my hair, back of my head, and also my nape…”
Taiga’s voice droned on as he narrated his green parts, but Hokuto’s mind had flown elsewhere. It was back at that house and under the replica of “The Last Judgment”, a man getting pleasured on his behind with his blue sequined mask as his only cover from all the rawness.
“Are you okay?” Taiga asked with concern on his face. “Do you want me to continue? Do you feel uncomfortable doing this?”
Hokuto swallowed hard again and mentally shook his head. That man couldn’t be Taiga. He didn’t look like the type who would do something like that, but then again, what does he know about the man he just met?
“I’m fine,” he said as he recovered. “I’m sorry. W-where were we-” He didn’t get to continue realizing that his hands were now wrapped around Taiga’s waist and their distance had gotten shorter.
“My lower back is green,” he said, his eyes never breaking contact. Hokuto could feel his palms gone cold and clammy as Taiga guided his hands down the curve of his bottom.
“If you’re feeling playful, this is also green.”
His hands might be cold, but his entire body has grown hot. “I think…I get the gist of this body mapping,” he said and Taiga released his hands.
“Cool. Now, you can also guide me on where I can or should not touch you.”
“Oh, uhm, I’m…I’m not yet c-comfortable with that idea.”
Taiga looked proud with his answer. “Cool! Now you’re drawing your boundaries.”
Hokuto feigned a laugh. He should really make a boundary before something comes bouncing out. “As I should, right?” He said and added eagerly, “I think I’m really warming to this idea.”
“I’m happy to hear that. So, let’s discuss more of your concerns with your intimate scenes,” he said before he returned to his seat.
Hokuto let out a sigh of relief as he also returned to his seat. He was quite sure his discomfort stemmed from being close to Taiga, and that should never happen again. For now, this much distance from Taiga will be his “green zone”.
***
“Hokuto, over here!”
"You attract what you fear", Hokuto thought while he plastered a smile on his face as he walked closer to where Juri was with two insanely attractive ladies. Juri was still dead-set on revitalizing his sex life, not that it was dead in Hokuto's defense, he has just been extremely busy with work.
“Ladies, I'm sure you know my famous friend,” Juri said, ignoring Hokuto’s mild glare.
“Don't believe him. I'm nowhere famous, it's been a month since I made an Instagram account and I haven't reached a million followers, while a senpai of mine reached a million within the day,” he said before Juri continued with the introductions. They ordered food, drank merrily, and as the night deepened and the conversation was getting pornie, Hokuto was sure that both ladies were more interested in Juri than him. He wasn’t even remotely disappointed or jealous, he just wanted to go home and sleep.
He excused himself to go to the toilet, but in reality, he decided to pay for their meal and make his hasty exit. He was sure Juri wouldn’t mind as Juri always forgives him. There was quite a queue at the payment counter and as he glanced back to check if Juri hadn’t caught up to him sneaking out, he saw a familiar face by the bar counter, it was Taiga.
Taiga was drinking alone while he was also busy with his phone. Hokuto thought twice about approaching him. After all, he decided to put distance between them as much as possible. Moreover, all of Taiga’s lectures on respecting personal space must have been embedded in his brain; he thinks Taiga might not need any company if he chose to sit on a bar stool and drink alone.
Hokuto decided to step back when a Caucasian-looking man approached Taiga, and he could only raise an eyebrow when the same man started rubbing Taiga’s back and sat beside him.
"They must have known each other,” Hokuto observed as Taiga let this white man touch him so intimately. He postponed sneaking out and returned to his seat, which gave him a full view of Taiga and the man. The man must have moved his seat closer to Taiga, their pelvis almost touching while Hokuto caught a glimpse of Taiga's hand traveling to the man’s thigh. They gaze longingly at one another before the man bent his head closer and whispered something, which ended with Taiga giving a curt nod, and they both prepared to leave.
“Ho-ku-to!”
Hokuto turned to Juri as though he was roused from slumber. “You were calling me?”
“Are you okay? What are you looking at?” Juri glanced back and the bar counter was now empty of Taiga and that foreigner.
“Uhm, nothing, just the bar design. Uhm, I need to go back to the toilet,” he said and ran to the toilet. He splashed himself with cold water and stared at his reflection. His face was all red, and during those few minutes of staring at Taiga, it felt like he was put in a trance. One of the cubicle doors opened and of all the people, it had to be Taiga.
“Oh, Hokuto!” He said and washed his hands.
“H-hi,” he said, and quickly pulled a paper towel to dry his face. “Nice to meet you here.”
Taiga simply smiled and added, “yeah, nice to see you too. Uhm, I have to go.”
Hokuto nodded and he didn’t know what came to him when he asked hurriedly, “and where will you go?”
Taiga glanced back, he looked a bit perplexed, but he answered in a way Hokuto didn’t expect either. “Why? Do you want to go with me?”
Taiga was obviously teasing him and Hokuto answered, “May I?” His reply also stunned him and he knew it wasn’t a tease. Whatever happened to his green zone? If his answer threw Taiga off, he had no idea seeing Taiga’s deadpan expression.
“No,” Taiga said, smiling sadly. “I’m not really into greenhorns,” he added, which left Hokuto baffled.
That night, Hokuto decided to surrender his body to debauchery. He let go of all his inhibitions, and concentrated all his useless energy on his cock; satisfying all its cravings from months of letting it starve of a warm and moist environment with nothing but his hand as company. The ladies, yes , ladies, were more than happy to share his popsicle, alternating between licks and slits, while his jizz filled the rubber one after another. It was a marathon he never had before, they were like animals in heat, yearning for nothing but pure pleasure.
As the light of dawn seeped inside the room, Hokuto found himself still awake. He didn’t bother with modesty as he walked naked to the window, gently parting the curtains to watch the rising sun. The sex was great, he was tired but sated, but despite all this, there was still a gaping hole in his heart. He isn’t happy, and he thinks he will never be.
She smelled of lilies, her face a picture of innocence, but her eyes foretold sadness and fear of what was to come.
“Stop,” Taiga ordered and Hokuto immediately pulled himself up. “There’s too much eye contact,” Taiga added.
Hokuto and Jun were making a quick run of their first-ever love scenes, which they would be filming for the next two days. Jun and he have a total of four love scenes and Shinji-san decided not to prolong their agony and films all their love scenes first.
“Let’s recap. Physically, you are both virgins, but this is also mentally challenging for your characters. You- ” Taiga said, looking at Jun, “your husband asked you to sleep with his general, while you,” he continued, turning to him, “your only experience is sleeping with the king. Although you’re in charge of this sexual act, you have to show some wariness. Let’s also not forget that in this scene, the king is just in the other room, making sure that you two are doing the deed.”
They both nodded. Shinji-san already showed them storyboards of how he would present their first love scene in the movie. Both of them would be naked with nothing but a silk blanket covering his butt, the focus would be him deflowering the queen, while at the same time, him tasting a woman for the first time.
Hokuto didn’t want to act demure and all, but he just met Jun about two weeks ago, and his first scenes with her would involve no dialogue and lots of humping. He knew he should talk to Taiga and Shiji-san if they could delay the love scenes until later when he and Jun have gotten to know one another quite a bit. But he also knew that there was no need for Jun and him to “get to know each other”, it was not like they would be dating or something. Jun already agreed to film their love scenes first, and Hokuto didn’t see the need to contradict her and delay it further.
Hokuto could only sigh upon seeing Jun happily talking to Taiga, even though Taiga is a man, Jun was really comfortable with having Taiga around. As for him, it’s not that he felt uncomfortable with having Taiga in the room, he’d been very professional and helpful, but Hokuto had a hard time separating him. He has become hyper-aware of Taiga’s presence and it distracts him.
“Ah, Jun, your modesty garments have arrived, our costume coordinator will help you get fitted,” Taiga said and Jun left to follow their costume coordinator, leaving Hokuto alone with Taiga and his hyper-aware self suddenly went cold.
“Yours is expected to arrive tomorrow,” Taiga said and Hokuto merely nodded.
“Uhm, so, is there anything you wish to tell me?” Taiga asked and Hokuto found himself biting his tongue. “I’m here as your advocate. If you’re not comfortable with anything, just say so, saying yes is not permanent, and you can always change your mind.”
Hokuto closed his eyes and sighed. Sometimes he wished that Shinji-san and Taiga would just be tough on him, treat him like a workhorse, or maybe he just hadn’t gotten used to this kind of treatment.
“I’m fine,” he replied, “I’m really fine.”
Taiga looked unconvincingly at him.
Hokuto sighed again. “Okay, I have no qualms with the sex scenes, I signed up for this, I’ve seen the original movie, and I know what to expect.”
“But?” Taiga prodded.
“I understand Shinji-san wants these scenes to be over so he decided to film it earlier.”
“But?”
“Jun also agreed to have those scenes done now.”
“But?” Taiga repeated, sounding a bit impatient.
“But…I think it’s too early for us. Jun is a good actress and all, but I don’t think we’ve had enough connection or chemistry for this movie.”
“Ahhhh…”
“But I also know that the crew will not wait for me and Jun to form that connection,” he said hurriedly. “That’s why we are actors, we have to pretend to have the connection, and hopefully that would translate onscreen. So, forget what I said, please, please don’t cancel this filming just because of what I said, I’m sure this is just me being a worrywart,” he added and practically begged.
“It’s alright,” Taiga said with a soft smile, which Hokuto found endearing as it made him extra pretty. “I understand your concerns and I’m glad you talked about this. I might not be the best person to give you this advice, but from my perspective, I can see the chemistry between you and Jun.”
“Really? You do?”
Taiga nodded. “There’s tension and a bit of coyness because you’re both unfamiliar with one another, and that’s an advantage for your roles. After all, the general wasn’t supposed to fall in love with the queen, but it all started because of the king’s orders. So, if you look at it from your character’s viewpoint rather than your own, you both fit the bill.”
“Has anyone told you that you’re a genius?” Hokuto asked after a while as he stared mesmerized at Taiga.
Taiga’s cheeks turned a shade of pink as he grinned. “I’m nowhere genius, I just know how to read the scene and people.”
“Is that why…you called me a greenhorn before? Whatever do you mean by that?”
Taiga appeared surprised by his question.
“Is it so obvious that I find you distracting?” Hokuto asked quietly.
“I’m aware of my effect on people,” Taiga said without a hint of arrogance, only facts. “You were intrigued the first time you saw me, but believe me, you would be doing yourself a favor if you keep your fascinations at bay.”
Hokuto nodded. There was no need for him to be evasive. “I’m still intrigued by you,” he admitted. “And I guess I’m really fascinated with this profession of yours, I mean, I’ve never met an intimacy coordinator.”
The door opened and it was their costume coordinator calling for Taiga. “I’ll be there in a sec,” Taiga said and returned back to him.
“Good to know that your curiosity is limited to what I do because I definitely don’t want to corrupt a good man like you.”
Hokuto frowned, what did Taiga mean by corrupting him as though he was still a minor who hadn't seen the ways of the world?
“By the way, I’m not talking about our first meeting in Shinji-san’s office,” Taiga added.
“Have we met elsewhere?” He asked as his heart hike-up. An answer flashed in his mind, which he refused to acknowledge.
“We did. Under The Last Judgment,” he finished with a wink.
***
“Whatever! I’m quitting the movie, I can no longer look him in the eye, I’m too embarrassed,” Hokuto complained.
“You’re overreacting,” Kouchi casually said while he flipped the pork and it sizzled like a temptation.
“I saw him naked…with an erection!” He emphasized, his voice rising.
“Have you seen The Titanic?” Kouchi asked.
“Huh? Yes.”
“If you get the chance to work with Kate Winslet, would you?”
“Of course! Why would I say no?”
“But you’ve seen her naked,” Kouchi replied with sarcasm.
“That’s different!” He said with a scoff. “Kate is doing a movie, while he…he was having real sex!” He exclaimed, groaning. “And I can’t believe I told you this story, Juri is so gonna kill me. He told me before that what happens there, stays there.”
Kouchi lightly shook his head while still smiling, for he found everything amusing.
“But I’m amazed he was able to recognize me, does that mean he knew about me before we met?” Hokuto asked.
“You’re the only one with that jawline and nose in the whole of Japan,” Kouchi said as he started cutting the pork into bite-size pieces. “And besides, I think he’s being a tease but he also wants you.”
Hokuto simply stared wide-eyed at Kouchi, before he recovered. “Nah! He told me I’m such a greenhorn, a novice! And I don’t think he’s one of those who plays hard to get. And….did you just say ‘also wants you’?”
Kouchi scowled as he switched off the griller. “Are you going to deny that you like him?”
Hokuto was again too stunned to speak so he started eating slices of pork. “I admit that I like him,” he said after a while. “He’s pretty and talented, but it’s not sexual,” he insisted as he mentally erased Taiga’s image of bouncing on top of some man back at the House of Sin.
“Really?” Kouchi said in a voice that screamed bullshit . “You’re so pure.”
Hokuto rolled his eyes. “Look, I’m no prude, and I’m definitely not some virgin-”
“Huh? You’re no longer a virgin at the back?” Kouchi cuts in while he smiles teasingly.
“Shut up!” He roared. “I don’t care about others' sexual preferences, I respect them,” he said thoughtfully, “but it’s not for me.”
“Oooh! Not even remotely interested?”
“Are you interested?” He asked back, hoping to taunt Kouchi.
Kouchi merely shrugged. “I’ll cross the bridge when I get there.”
Hokuto scoffed. “Lier! Stop fucking with me.”
Kouchi laughed out loud. “I will never fuck you,” he said, taking what he said literally. “My interest in you is like that of aliens.”
“Aliens? Like out of this world?”
“Aliens, as in, it doesn’t exist.”
Hokuto sneered. “Why do I feel insulted when I’ve always been in the top 10 of sexiest actors in Japan under 30?”
“But can you see where I’m getting at? Attraction knows no gender.”
“I agree to that,” he said, raising a slice of grilled pork, “I’m attracted to this pork because it’s juicy, but that doesn’t mean I would fuck it, which also describes my feelings for Taiga.”
“Ah! So you find him juicy?”
“I have enough of your selective hearing and of this conversation,” he said through gritted teeth.
Kouchi giggled and opened a can of beer. “Seriously though, just follow what your heart desires, there’s no need to think deeply about it.”
Hokuto sighed. “I’m trying,” he said sadly. “But it’s always the same, it makes me feel good, but there will always be guilt afterward. I…I don’t know anymore.”
“I’m kind of retracting what I said, give yourself time, never ever succumb to pressure, and chill!”
Hokuto smiled and they made a toast.
***
Lines were blurred the moment I entered her, she was tight and warm, an uncharted territory I have to explore. I just plowed in like the amateur that I am, pushing deeper, trying not to feel anything even though every nerve in my body tingles in excitement. A flood of ecstasy rushed in and I looked toward the door, begging for him to shout stop before I went diving in, and it would be all too late.
“Cut!”
Assistants rushed in and covered their bodies with robes. Hokuto could feel his face all red and he could sigh in relief seeing Shinji-san happy with their take.
“I know you guys were good and you just exceeded my expectations,” he said and gave both of them a pat on their shoulders. Jun asked if she could see her take, while Hokuto’s eyes immediately went searching for Taiga. He saw him standing in the corner, his arms crossed while he looked at him.
Hokuto slowly approached him, never breaking eye contact. He wanted to hear what Taiga thinks of his acting, and he didn’t want to admit how his opinion mattered more than Shinji-san.
“Hi,” he said, his heart hasn’t slowed and his voice sounded like he has been running a marathon.
Taiga didn’t dawdle. “If you’re waiting for praise from me,” he started, followed by a long pause, “you’re wonderful.”
Hokuto realized he was holding his breath as he replied. “Thank you. You were a huge help.”
“You’re welcome, but Jun and you were great actors so it was quite easy. You two were - ”
Taiga paused when someone called for his name and Hokuto could only raise an eyebrow seeing the same white guy he saw with Taiga at the bar. He is taller up close than Hokuto expected, and he didn’t bother with decorum as he kissed Taiga full on the lips. Taiga seemed surprised, too, as he lightly shoved the guy away and Hokuto had this compulsion of bashing the guy’s head on the wall. How dare he kiss Taiga? Does all that talk about consent and personal space not apply to this guy?
“Excuse us,” Taiga said apologetically and pulled the guy away with him.
“Do you reckon they are dating?”
Hokuto almost yelled in surprise when Shinji-san sneaked up behind him.
“Don’t surprise me like that,” Hokuto said, a hand on his chest. “And I doubt they are dating,” he added, hoping he sounded uncaring. “But is our set something that any strangers can freely walk in?”
“Oh!” Shinji mumbled. “He’s no stranger though, he is our animal coordinator, he’ll be working with us for the horseback riding scenes.”
“Ah…I see.”
“Safe to say that Taiga is in good hands,” Shinji-san’s AD joked before they announced that the next scene will be filmed in 10 minutes.
Hokuto glanced back to where Taiga and that guy disappeared, his hands clenched into a fist, while he repeatedly cursed the man in his head.
***
Filming of their sex scenes continued, he was no longer the virgin who had his first taste of women, and he developed an insatiable thirst that only the queen could satisfy. He no longer listened to the king, but only to his heart and his desires. But each time he made love to the queen, for every touch and every kiss, it was a different face he saw, a face that was not even a character in the movie. Before he realized it, he was slowly transforming into his character, a man who discovered a different kind of sex, and a man torn between his duty and his desires.
Time passed in a blur, the filming ended without a hitch, and Hokuto found himself searching for Taiga, whom he found in a makeshift room with all the props.
“May I speak with you?”
Taiga looked up, a bit perplexed upon seeing him. “Why…why do you look at me like that?”
Hokuto swallowed a lump in his throat. “Why? How do I look at you?”
He could see the hesitation in Taiga’s eyes, he was even prepared for him to ignore his question. But Taiga didn’t cower and he even stood up as he answered, “you look like you want to fuck me.”
Hokuto thought he was brave, but hearing that challenging tone in Taiga’s voice made him want to step back, laugh, and say that everything is a joke. But the temptation was greater, and in the end, he stepped forward, a move which made Taiga step back a bit.
“My entire body is green, touch me,” he whispered, his voice almost breaking from the wealth of emotions he could no longer contain.
A snicker escaped Taiga’s lips and Hokuto thinks he’d gone red all over.
“Green, huh?” He said as though it was a joke. He circled Hokuto and he could only yelp when Taiga’s fingers slid down the crack of his butt. He was still fully cloth, but he might as well have been naked as every nerve of his body woke.
“Is this part also green?” Taiga asked, the fabric of his jeans suddenly felt like silk, as Taiga's finger poked at his manhole. “Do you think this hole is meant for sex?” He whispered in his ears, sending another shockwave down his spine, while his loins stirred.
“Did you not think it's disgusting?” Taiga added as though he read Hokuto's mind the first time they met.
Before Hokuto could argue, someone knocked on the door, Taiga's finger gone from his behind, as the door opened revealing that blasted white guy.
“Oh, you're here,” he said in an accent that annoyed Hokuto. "Are you done? Can we go?"
“Give me a sec,” Taiga said and the door closed again.
“I don’t know why you’re doing this,” Taiga said, still behind him. “But I won’t be initiating you to whatever you want to experience. Go stick your meat elsewhere,” he added and left.
Hokuto dropped to the floor, his knees were shaking, and he would have preferred it if he got trampled by horses than die in the mortification of his own doing.
“I thought you were overreacting the other day, but now I just think you’ve gone mad.”
Hokuto covered his face out of embarrassment. He belonged to bedlam and nowhere else.
“I think I might have gotten too immersed in my role?” He asked and even he knew it was a ridiculous excuse.
“Wow, thank goodness you didn’t kill anyone when you once played a psychopath,” Kouchi muttered with sarcasm. “Have you been so sex-starved that you have to offer yourself like a prized virgin?”
Hokuto sighed. He was getting irritated with Kouchi’s roasting, but he couldn’t counter them because all of them were true. He’d gone mad, ridiculously mad.
“I also don’t understand my attraction to him. It’s like, do you think I’ve been spellbound or something?”
Kouchi looked like he wanted to hit him so Hokuto avoided his gaze. “I mean, it's been quite a while since I got really interested in someone.”
“I understand the attraction, but not the obsession.”
“I’m not obsessed,” he strongly denied.
“Not yet,” Kouchi countered. “Frankly, I’m surprised you didn’t beg him to let you suck his cock.”
Hokuto groaned and covered his face yet again. He might have done that if Taiga agreed. “I’d better avoid him.”
“Which would be hard,” Kouchi said with finality. “You’re the type who holds grudges, and even though you act all okay after being rejected, I’m pretty sure you haven’t let go of it yet.”
“I’ll be fine,” he said, more for himself than Kouchi. “I think I need to heed his suggestion so this attraction would be gone.”
“And what was his suggestion?”
“I should stick my meat elsewhere.”
***
“Is this anatomically possible?” Shun asked while they studied a rough sketch of two men in a type of missionary sex position with the one on the bottom having his legs draped on the top’s shoulders. “I’m sure it's doable between a man and a woman but-”
“It’s doable,” Taiga cuts in and Hokuto feels his face go red thinking that of course, Taiga knew about that. He let out a deep breath and focused all his energy on looking at the picture without any malice.
“I suggested this position to Shinji-san because it’ll be perfect to show the relationship between a king and his general. The one who dominates and the one who submits. There’ll be plenty of eye contact to show your emotions, the top can show his virility, and the bottom can show how he accepts everything.”
Hokuto swallowed hard. He needed to disperse the heat gathering in his body so he decided to drop a joke. “Is there another variation? I’m not this bendy. I might crack my spine.”
“You don’t need to worry about that,” Taiga said with a straight face. “It’ll be over in a minute or two, it’s not like you’ll be in that position until you both come.”
Shun snickered and playfully slapped Hokuto’s bum. “You’re too sexy, I might really go hard on you.”
Taiga loudly cleared his throat before saying, “body mapping, Shun!” They both turned serious as Taiga suggested, “and do some stretching beforehand to prevent injuries.”
Rehearsing his sex scenes with Shun was infinitely easier than when he was with Jun. Maybe because they were both men and they didn’t care about accidental touching, or maybe because they both knew that they were not sexually attracted to one another, and they could dry hump one another without malice.
“I think both of you won’t have a hard time with your two sex scenes,” Taiga said after they were done with rehearsals. “Ah, I need to speak with you,” Taiga added, turning to him.
Hokuto bid Shun goodbye while his manager waited for him outside. “Uhm…I want to use this chance and apologize for what I said and did the last time we met,” he said and he could feel his face all red.
“It was so wrong of me and I have no excuse, I’m sorry,” he continued and bowed low.
“It’s okay. I didn’t take it seriously,” Taiga said, but Hokuto still felt awful and he hated himself more because he still wanted Taiga.
“And that’s not the reason I wished to speak with you.” He handed him a USB.
“What’s this?” He asked, raising the USB at their eye level.
“Consider it as resources,” Taiga said, a hint of blush appearing on his face.
“Resources for what?”
Taiga sighed. “Don’t take it the wrong way, you are a good actor, but…”
“But?”
“-but you’ve never experienced being the receiver that’s why your expressions were all over the place earlier.”
Hokuto could feel his ears turn red. “Oh….oh,” he mumbled and loudly cleared his throat. “Right. I guess it’s really different.”
“Of course, it’s different for the one being penetrated.”
“Of course.” How silly of him.
“Don’t worry, those resources aren’t porn, they are real people having sex who decided to record their sex lives. I have their permission for this.”
“Cool, but even if I watch this, I could only borrow their expressions, and it might still look fake with mine.”
Taiga didn’t reply, he simply raised an eyebrow toward him.
“I mean, we’re all pleasured differently when it comes to sex, right?”
Taiga scoffed. “You can buy yourself a butt plug or anything similar, I don’t care.”
“Of course, but how about a bit of description?” He teased Taiga. The sincerity in the apology he said earlier had evaporated. “That would be easier for me to imagine. How does it feel being the receiver?”
Taiga crossed his arms on his chest. “It makes me feel more powerful than vulnerable. Like I’m basically telling you to fuck my brains out, send me to heaven and back, make quiver all over, or you’ll never get another chance to pound your cock inside me.”
Hokuto realized he was holding his breath as his loins stirred while listening to Taiga.
“How’s that for a description? Is it easier for you to imagine?” Taiga asked smugly.
“Yes.” So much so that I want to experience it.
“Then, I’ll see you again for the filming,” Taiga said dismissively and left him in the room.
***
He groaned when the king entered him harshly. There was no pleasure with each thrust, only pain, physically and emotionally, as the king made him regret ever falling in love with the queen. “You never love her, it was only lust,” the king said as his pounding intensified. He bit his lower lip and held on for his dear life, feeling like he would be split into two. “Tell me, tell me you never love her,” he said, but it was no longer in a commanding tone, there was a hint of begging. But he didn’t answer back, the king can have his body, but never his heart.
“And cut!”
Hokuto sighed as Shun helped him get up, kneeling on straw mats was definitely hard. Add the fact that the heater was turned on for effects. Assistants ran to cover their naked bodies and he and Shun could only hug after finally finishing their sex scenes.
“You’re the best, man.”
“No, you’re the best!” Hokuto said as they both approached Shinji-san to check their takes. He found Taiga staring at him near the monitors, he gave him a curt nod, which he reciprocated with a smile. He wanted badly to ask Taiga what he thought of it if his vision for the scene were followed, but he held his tongue just like how his character didn’t reply to the king’s questions earlier. He knew he was being unnecessarily rebellious, but as this was the last day of filming for their sex scenes, he knew he should cut whatever ties he has with Taiga.
“You are returning for the editing, right?” He heard Shinji-san ask Taiga.
“Are you sure you want me around?” Taiga asked back.
“Certainly. I need your output because I want these scenes to sizzle.”
Taiga smiled. “Let’s see where I will be around that time. Just shoot me an email.”
Shinji-san patted his shoulder before he made an announcement to everyone. “It might be too early for celebrations, but we just finished all the love scenes, so why don’t we all go drinking?”
The male-majority crew roared in agreement, Hokuto dropped a glance toward Taiga and saw him shaking his head while he clapped his hands. Hokuto wanted to ask if he would be going until his manager reminded him that he had a radio guesting so he couldn’t go. He could only sigh in disappointment, or maybe he should consider it as fate’s way of saving him from another rejection.
***
Hokuto is in his 3rd can of alcohol-free beer and he never felt more of a loser as he drank while walking on his way home. He should have gone for the alcoholic variety, but he had a magazine shoot tomorrow and he didn't want his skin to look dried up. It had been three days since he last saw Taiga, and Hokuto is convinced that he might be suffering from separation anxiety, which was ridiculous since he didn’t think he should be in any way attached to the man.
“Kouchi would throw boiling water at me if I tell him this,” he murmured as he crushed the now empty can and placed it in the plastic bag. He was about to dispose of it when he saw an unmistakable ember coming from a cigarette toward the other end of the narrow alley.
“Excuse me,” he called out as he approached the smoker. “Excuse me, you shouldn’t be smoking here-”
A passing car managed to illuminate the smoker’s face and Hokuto stopped in his tracks as the smoker turned to face him while smoke wafted around him.
“Taiga,” he whispered in a mixture of awe and disbelief. He hated the smell of nicotine, but blamed it on his anorak that he wanted Taiga to puff directly to his face, and forced him to inhale the air from his lips.
“Sorry,” he said, although he didn’t look apologetic at all as he stubbed the cigarette on the wall. “Didn’t think I would see you here,” he added, placing his hands in the pocket of his jacket as the cold wind blew.
“Uhm, I live around here,” he said, pointing his thumb behind him, “just at that building.”
Taiga nodded. “I see. Errr, a friend of mine allowed me to borrow his apartment while he’s backpacking Nepal.”
“Ah, are you alone?”
Despite the dimness of the alley, Hokuto could swear that he saw Taiga smile briefly.
“Why? Do you want to come over?”
“May I?” He asked back, his hands clenched into a fist as he waited for Taiga’s reply. How far would he take this taunting?
“Once you go in, you can never go back.”
“I have no intention of turning back,” he declared as he took a step toward Taiga.
“I told you I don’t go for neophytes.”
Hokuto took another step until their faces were inches away from each other. “Why? Afraid that I’m going to latch on to you? I’m also a man, I can have purely physical sex.”
Taiga avoided his gaze. “You’re out of your mind.”
Hokuto gently cupped Taiga’s face to lock eyes with him. “Yes, I must be really mad and I need you to wake me up. Say it to my face, say that you don’t want me, say that you don’t give a shit about me, say that you never had any interest in me, and I’ll leave. I’ll step back and I’ll never bother you again.”
For the next few seconds, Hokuto heard nothing but the beating of his own heart and breathing, along with the car engines that passed by the road. He mentally started a countdown from 10, although Taiga didn’t break their eye contact, he wasn’t speaking either.
“ 6…”
He must have thought of himself as some hotshot that Taiga would beg to bed with.
“ 5…”
Who did he think he is to give something akin to an ultimatum?
“ 4…”
Did he really say he wouldn’t be clingy when he was already clinging when nothing has happened yet?
“ 3… ”
Maybe he should really get Kouchi to pour him boiling water.
“2…”
This should be the last time he would allow himself to be rejected.
“1… ” He smiled bitterly, he was about to take a step back when Taiga pulled him back and kissed him exactly how he imagined him to be kissed, wet and wild.
“Do you have extra slippers?”
“Your friend’s apartment is nice.”
“Are you all alone?”
For all his bravado, Hokuto is having a mild breakdown, torn between fulfilling his carnal desires and being morally right. He couldn’t ask Taiga if he was seeing anyone, especially with their “animal coordinator”. Were they serious? Or were they just like him at the moment? A one-night stand? An overseas fling? Or a fuck buddy?
Taiga led him to the living room couch before he slowly undressed him like a Victorian bride on her wedding night. Taiga removed his own clothes, exposing his milky-white skin inch-by-inch that Hokuto wanted to lick so badly.
“Let’s touch each other,” Taiga whispered.
All of his apprehensions evaporated as Taiga’s long slender fingers glided over his cock, gently as though he was scared to rouse someone from sleep, but the effect on him was far from gentle, his breathing hiked and his entire body raged with desire.
"You're quite hard already, you must have wanted me so bad."
Hokuto let his body answer, groaning from Taiga’s touch, while his trembling fingers reached for Taiga’s semi-erect penis. It felt different with his touch as though he didn’t have one; stroking him gently, pulling and teasing as Taiga’s eyes grew hazy with lust, his pinkish lips slightly parted as he moaned, while his cock grew harder with each stroke.
Meanwhile, his own boner is hard and ready to explode, he could only let out a whimper as Taiga’s strokes became faster and harder, his eyes looking determined to finish him off. Hokuto pulled Taiga for a kiss; kissing him hungrily before he could even spill his seeds on his hand, unleashing a throaty moan as Taiga pumped him off for that white gold, and he almost screamed when Taiga left his lips for his cockhead, sucking and squeezing him to the last drop. Hokuto threw his head back as his body trembled from orgasm. He has lost all rational sense, and he thought he saw the galaxy flashing before his eyes while fireworks seemed to go off from every nerve of his body.
“Was I too fast?” Taiga asked as he sat astride on his lap. His fingers, his sticky fingers from his cum, drew circles around his nipples.
Hokuto slowly shook his head. His breathing hasn’t normalized from getting wanked off, and Taiga is starting to play with him again.
“You can go fast or slow, you can do whatever you want, or you can ask me to do whatever you want,” he said, his own voice unrecognizable.
Taiga seemed to like his answer as he smiled. “Hmmm, I’m not sure if I want you inside or if I want to be inside you.”
Hokuto felt his loins stir to life again as excitement rushed through his veins. “Break me first.”
Taiga looked surprised by his answer, before he said, “Then, taste me, drink my soul.”
Hokuto didn’t need more coaxing as Taiga sat on the sofa like a boss. He never thought a naked man could be more beautiful than a naked woman, but Taiga’s beauty is indeed incomparable, he is seraphic. So hauntingly beautiful that pleasuring Taiga would be for his gratification. He knelt down, wedging his torso between Taiga’s legs, before reaching for his dangly bits, savoring such an intimate smell, giving it a mild suck, making a lewd slurping sound, before running his tongue up to his engorged shaft.
“I love your dick,” he said while he stared at Taiga’s eyes, licking his swollen head like a lolly, before putting him in his mouth. Taiga gave a satisfied sigh, his fingers running on his hair as he took the velvety hardness inch-by-inch until a drool dripped from the corner of his lips.
"How come you're so good with this?" Taiga asked, hissing as his face contorted in ecstasy.
“Don't come yet, okay?” He resumed his head bobbing, his hands and mouth moved rhythmically for Taiga’s satisfaction. He was so engrossed in worshiping Taiga’s dick that he almost yelped when he felt a finger poking his asshole.
He withdrew Taiga's shaft and looked up at him with a mixture of alarm and anticipation.
“Do you trust me?” Taiga asked and he could only nod while he brazenly pushed his ass back, wanting more of that finger in. Taiga bent down and kissed him with so much tenderness he felt like crying.
“Wait here.”
Hokuto waited, still kneeling on the floor when Taiga returned with a pack of condoms and a bottle of lube. He steered him to kneel on the couch, gently squeezing his buttcheeks, running his hands on his plumpness.
"I want to see this ass jiggle while I bang you," Taiga said, and Hokuto could feel his dick grow hard just by thinking about it.
He felt tickles when Taiga trailed wet kisses on the curve of his butt, on his spine, shoulders, and back to his lips. His tongue was hot and wanton, and Taiga didn't let go of his lips when he pressed his finger inside. Hokuto groaned in Taiga’s mouth while his finger slid deeper, before he settled on a spot, pressing it like a doorbell at first, before massaging it in small circles.
Hokuto had to break the kiss as he couldn’t breathe. At first, he felt like he needed to go, until something electrifying spread all over him, making him dig his fingers into the couch and curled his toes.
“What are you touching?” He asked breathlessly, a whirlpool of heat slowly grew inside him, and it continued to swirl as it grew bigger and bigger, sucking him toward the vortex, until he was left with nothing and succumbed to oblivion.
“That was quite intense,” Taiga said, sounding impressed as he withdrew his condomed finger from his arse. He was still deep in shudders as Taiga helped him to lie down, showering butterfly kisses on his face, waiting for his quivering to die down.
“That was your P-spot ,” Taiga said as though he read his mind, for he didn’t think he could speak straight.
“If it was that good, I can’t wait for you to be inside me,” he said after a while.
“Now, I’m pressured,” Taiga said, smirking as he sat up, putting on a condom and spreading a generous amount of lube. “Let’s do this the old-fashioned way.”
He merely nodded, spreading his legs wide while Taiga placed a throw pillow under his hips. Taiga teased his entrance for a while, poking his tip but never going in, before entering him slowly. Hokuto found himself breathing slowly, too, he was even surprised that there was no pain, just a feeling of fullness, and being stretched as Taiga buried himself to a hilt.
“Ugh…you’re so tight and warm,” Taiga murmured as he pulled him for a kiss. They kissed unhurriedly, familiarizing themselves with each other’s taste and smell, and gasping when Taiga finally started moving. Just like their kisses, Taiga’s thrust was slow and steady, as though he was letting him adjust to his size, to his own unchartered territory that he badly wanted him to explore.
He wrapped his arms around Taiga as he gained momentum, their words were reduced to hisses and moans, and their eyes pleaded for more, wanting to make it last, even though they were both on the edge of bursting.
“This is so good…so good…oh fuck, fuck, fuck…” he said, whimpering as Taiga pounded him hard that he thought he was seeing stars. Taiga lifted his legs in the air, hooking his arms behind his knees, bending him further, his penis hitting new ground as Hokuto’s eyes grew wide from an all-new sensation.
“Oh fuck!” He yelped, begging Taiga not to stop, not yet . He didn’t think he was selfish when it came to bedroom matters, but he wanted more of Taiga and more of this feeling. He wanted to be owned and consumed.
“You’re so horny and I like it,” Taiga said in between panting, he looked so beautiful on top of him, his sweat making his alabaster skin glow, while he continued to ram him for good, sending waves of pleasure he wanted to drown into, and making him regret he even thought of anal as a taboo.
A low growl escaped his lips as he climaxed, while Taiga slumped on top of him after he came. Hokuto hugged him tight, kissing his ear, not wanting for him to pull out yet while Taiga murmured how great his ass was.
***
“You said you only had 4 hours of sleep, but your skin is radiant!” The photographer mused while he took close-up pictures.
Hokuto simply smiled, he couldn’t blurt out that what he was seeing was a post-coital glow. He may only have had 4 hours of sleep, but hours of earth-shattering sex did him really well. Probably, his only regret was that Taiga didn’t let him fuck him, he said it was his night, and he should just enjoy being the receiver for a change.
“I need to change the lens, let’s take a break,” the photographer said and Hokuto went to his seat. While he contemplated whether he should ask Shinji-san for Taiga’s contact number, he couldn’t help but overhear the conversation between his stylist and the magazine’s fashion assistant.
“I told you,” his stylist chided. “Men fall in love differently. They fall in lust, they are also more on visuals than us. That’s why I told you that if you have serious feelings for him, don’t sleep with him yet until you’re sure that his feelings for you go beyond the bed. Otherwise, it’s just sex with no strings attached for him.”
The magazine’s FA broke into tears and Hokuto couldn’t help but pity her, he knew how tactless his stylist could be. They probably wouldn’t welcome his unsolicited advice either, after all, he is a man. His thoughts returned to Taiga and to what his stylist said. She’s right. He is a man and he did fall in lust. He thinks that’s fine, for Taiga definitely went for the same thing. He never thought that falling for the same sex would have this kind of convenience. They are on the same page and they both know what they want from one another. It was all physical right from the start.
“Hokuto-san, let’s resume.”
Hokuto nodded and returned to the set.
***
“You said you wanted a pastrami sandwich last night, I passed by a sandwich shop so…” Hokuto sighed and stared at his reflection in the elevator. Why does he need to practice what he would say? He could have just had the sandwich delivered instead of going to Taiga’s apartment.
“Does this count as clingy?” He asked himself as the elevator doors opened on Taiga’s floor. He let out a deep breath and walked to his unit. He would just really give the sandwich, then he would pretend that he got a call, and make an excuse for leaving. He is definitely not asking for another banging. No. He might have showered and all, before going to Taiga’s place, but that’s only because he came from work, and since the pandemic, taking showers after work had been his practice. He is definitely not asking for another round.
“Who’s there?”
Hokuto’s heart dropped when he heard that annoyingly familiar twang. The door opened, revealing the same white man who is their animal coordinator.
“Oh! You’re that actor,” he said, grinning. He looked like he had been showering when Hokuto rang the doorbell, so he hastily wrapped a towel around his torso, as water still dripped from his hair.
Hokuto was about to ask for Taiga when he heard his voice, the same voice that told him he has an amazing ass. Taiga showed up by the entrance, obviously wet from the same shower, and a towel also draped around his torso.
“Hokuto. Why are you here?” He asked in a way suggesting that he had no business being there.
“Ah, I bought your sandwiches, enjoy it together.” He quickly handed the sandwich to the white man, before he made a quick exit. His heart thudded hard as he rode the elevator, while he repeatedly swore at himself.
Who was he kidding? He didn’t fall into lust. He fell in love, and he fell hard.
“Love isn’t my strong suit, Hokuto, but a thousand ways to make you come, let me show you.”
Hokuto stifled a whimper as Taiga’s tongue traced the hollow of his throat, while his fingers locate his nipples, drawing circles and flicking them, before he felt Taiga’s hot breath over it, making him squirm as he sucked it.
Hokuto had no idea how it came to this. One moment they were talking, then they were arguing, and the next, Taiga pinned him on the wall, intent on punishing him for his atrociousness.
“Did you get this hard just by my kisses?”
For all his brashness of going to the House of Sin to fuck around, he couldn’t even look at Taiga as he felt everything on his waist drop to his ankles.
“I missed this baby,” Taiga whispered on his tip.
He let out a gratifying moan as Taiga started worshiping his engorged shaft. His entire body tingled with every lick, and his knees started to grow weak, while he struggled to find something to hold onto the wall or he might slide off onto the floor. Taiga seemed to be enjoying tormenting him, sliding his cock deeper in his mouth that he almost gagged, but it didn’t stop him from rhythmically bobbing his head that Hokuto thought his soul would leave him, his penis getting squished from Taiga’s tight mouth, making him lightly thrust his hips, fucking Taiga’s face until he jerked, and his hot cum dripped from Taiga’s lips.
A look of triumph crossed Taiga’s face, his hand squeezing his cock until the very last drop. “That’s one way of making you come, ready for next?”
Hokuto slid down on the floor, still catching his breath, and still rewinding the events of what led to this.
***
2 hours before…
Work kept Hokuto busy for the next few days, it kept him sane, and it kept memories of Taiga at bay. But who was he kidding? He would wake up in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat, and with an erection that needed a release. Taiga must have really driven him mad, and he allowed it, he allowed himself to be consumed. And what was stopping him from being consumed again?
Love.
He made the mistake of falling in love. No amount of sex would be able to satisfy him. He wanted more than that.
“Tch, it’s just hormones,” Juri muttered when he shared his dilemma. “Gives you an illusion you’re in love, but seriously, you’re just craving for an orgasm. It’s all chemicals.”
“I also thought of that,” he admitted.
“And you’re right,” Juri insisted. “Like if you watch AV, those actresses looked smitten to those mostly ugly men,” Juri said, wincing, “but they’re not, they’re just acting out with the help of their hormones. They just needed a climax and nothing else.”
Hokuto frowned. “Uhm, of course, they would look smitten, because that’s their job. Nothing personal, they need to get fucked for work.”
“I was just making an example, but what I’m trying to say here is don't confuse it with love.”
Hokuto became quiet for a bit. He wanted Juri to be right, but deep inside he knew he also wanted his feelings to be love, and the only reason he was trying to fight it was because he knew he would be rejected.
“This is why falling in love is selfish.”
Hokuto looked up to Juri. “No, it’s not. Loving someone more than yourself is selfless.”
Juri sneered. “Please…the reason why you’re doubting your feelings for him is that you’re afraid to be rejected. Do you know why you’re afraid to be rejected? Because you can only really love him if he only loves you back. Will you love him without anything in return?”
“I can do that,” he said with determination.
“You can? Until when? You’re only human, eventually, you will start demanding to be loved back, if not, you will go searching somewhere else. See what I mean? Loving is selfish.”
“So what do you want me to do?”
Juri shrugged. “Nothing. Just enjoy sex while it lasts, which reminds me, let’s use all those pent-up hormones somewhere that it’ll be greatly appreciated!”
“Where?” Hokuto asked, even though he had an idea where Juri would lead him.
***
1 hour before…
“I’m an actor, I don’t think I should be seen in places like this-” Hokuto didn’t get to finish what he wanted to say as Juri pushed him into a room, and locked the door behind him.
“Juri? Juri!” He called out, repeatedly knocking on the door. “Shit!” He muttered and sighed while his eyes roamed the typical Victorian-style bedroom that the House of Sin favored. Hokuto looked up and he was surprised that instead of paintings, there were three disco balls.
“Weird,” he murmured, sitting down on the four-poster bed when he heard the door on the corner open. He let out a deep breath and turned around, “Look, I’m…”
Hokuto didn’t expect to see a naked woman. She’s black and her skin glowed like the night sky. He was so dumbstruck that the next thing he knew, she was kneeling in front of him, her eyes straight to the tent between his legs. Her slender fingers were about to reach for it when the corner door opened again, and Hokuto’s eyes widened.
“Out!”
Hokuto couldn’t even find the words to contradict Taiga. He might be wearing a blue sequined mask, but those penetrating stares could only belong to one man, and one man only.
“I didn’t expect to see you back here,” Taiga said, not making any move to step closer to him.
The shock must have worn off that Hokuto found himself scoffing. “Shall I say, I expected to see you here? Does your white man knows you’re also getting fuck here?”
“We have a clear understanding of our relationship.”
“Of course!” Hokuto said sarcastically. “And as for us…ah, there’s no us, it was just a one-night stand. So feel free to fuck around, and I’ll fuck around as well.”
“You’re not this kind of person, Hokuto.”
Hokuto sneered. “As if you know about me.”
“I know you better than you know yourself.”
“Really?” He asked in a challenging tone. “Then, tell me, what do I want right now?”
“Me,” Taiga answered with so much confidence that Hokuto found himself stepping back, especially as Taiga started to step forward. “This is why I don’t go for neophytes, they fall so easily.”
Hokuto swallowed the lump in his throat, feeling the wall behind his back as Taiga cornered him. “It will pass,” he said, more for himself than Taiga. “It’s just a phase because I tasted something new,” he added.
“Will it really pass?” Taiga asked, his face inches closer to him so that he could smell his almost hypnotizing breath. “I’m going to be honest. I want you still, but only your body, and never your heart.”
Hokuto could feel his penis twitch just by hearing those words. How could this man affect him this much?
“Love isn’t my strong suit, Hokuto, but a thousand ways to make you come, let me show you.”
***
0 hours…
Taiga purred as Hokuto entered him. Slick and smooth, thanks to the generous amount of lube.
“Am I doing this right?” He asked, mixed feelings of apprehension and excitement stirred inside of him.
Taiga didn’t answer, instead, he pulled him close and kissed him fervently. His lips were searing hot, and also down there, he was hot and tight. Thrusting came naturally afterward, his meat being pressed by Taiga’s tight ass. Hokuto loved to watch Taiga’s face writhe in pleasure each time he pounded his dick, his throaty moans and slightly parted lips made him go harder, and he wanted nothing but to drive deeper and made Taiga feel how brutal his arousal was.
Taiga must have read his mind, he lifted his hips and brought his knees by his ears, giving Hokuto a chance to thrust deeper, while at the same, pleasuring him at a different angle. Their breathing turned hard and raspy, his thrust full and hard as the desire they lit slowly came to a close. Taiga came first, crying out his name, before he came in strong waves, reaching Taiga for a kiss until the waves subsided.
“That’s another way of making you come, shall we move to the third?”
Work kept Hokuto busy for the next few days, but even on the nights when he was dead tired, he kept on coming to Taiga’s apartment, and their ravenous lovemaking kept him renewed and exhilarated. In Kouchi’s own words, “He is addicted to Taiga”, an addiction which he had no intention of weaning himself off. He wanted to remain high, to be consumed even if it led to a path of destruction.
“Stay,” Taiga murmured, his chest still heaving after yet another flaming shag-fest, while his milky skin glowed under the amber light.
Hokuto hesitated, unsure if he heard Taiga correctly. When he entered this “physical relationship” with Taiga, he carved in his mind that it would be nothing but the pursuit of carnal pleasures. He could get all the highs from Taiga, but for the lows, he has to make do with himself. And as they were not in any serious relationship, he made it a point to go back home after their hours of passion. It could be pride or bitterness, it was his way of telling Taiga that he could also be one of those guys who wouldn’t mistake this sex for anything else other than for what it is.
“It’s past 12, just sleep here,” Taiga said, pulling him back beside his nakedness, “Frankly, you look tired these days,” he added, running his fingers on his slightly sweaty hair, “that’s why I’ve always been the top so you could just lie on your back and relax.”
Hokuto almost laughed. One would look at Taiga’s gesture as sweet and thoughtful, but it also meant that this is just the extent of their relationship - sex.
“Seriously though, do you think I’m a nymphomaniac or something?”
Hokuto’s silence was enough for an answer. To be fair, he might be a nymphomaniac too, but only to Taiga.
Taiga scoffed and sighed. “I guess I really made quite an impression on you. A very bad one.”
“Taiga-”
“Just sleep,” Taiga muttered, embracing him close until his face is buried in the crook of his neck. They have always been skin-to-skin, their body fluids intersecting and so, but there was something about being held close like this, with Taiga gently tapping his back, and them feeling each other’s breathing. It felt pure. Sincere. More intimate than all the sex positions they did. It was comforting that it almost felt like… love .
He shook his head and closed his eyes. He’s just high from all the sex hormones. There could never be love from Taiga for him. The best Hokuto could describe this gesture is a pity. Pity for a man so in love, he’d be willing to walk through the fire just for another night of ecstasy with the devil he loves.
***
For the next few days, Hokuto began to think that Taiga was starting to grow cold of him, they haven’t had sex since that night, and he was sure that it would only be a matter of time before Taiga broke it off with him. Taiga had been showing signs of someone guilty of something. He’d been overly nice, acting like a proper boyfriend and not that of a fuck buddy.
Just the other night, Taiga cooked a steak, they dined in candlelight at his apartment and spent the rest of the night watching one of Hokuto’s old dramas. The following morning was his time off, and Taiga asked him to shop for him to update his unchanging wardrobe. Hokuto brought him to his favorite thrift shops and Taiga brought almost everything he recommended, even though Hokuto doubted he would ever wear any of those.
And yesterday, Taiga invited him to the theater. It was a posh affair and they were both in suits as they watched “Matilda”. During the intermission, they mingled with the crowd, and Taiga kept him by his side while he exchanged pleasantries with an acquaintance. Taiga introduced him as a “close friend”, while he kept his arm behind Hokuto’s back all those times. There were a few more questioning gazes on their association, but no one was brave enough to pop the question. Hokuto was thankful no one asked, because he didn’t know how he would answer that. Oh, he knew they were just fucking around, or better yet, Taiga is only fucking around. Hence, Hokuto concluded, Taiga was being nice to give him something lovely to look back at once he broke it off with him.
“Hokuto?”
He winced and guiltily looked up, Jun eyeing him with curiosity. He agreed to dinner with his co-star after rejecting Taiga’s invitation to visit Tokyo Skytree. Although he really wanted to be with Taiga, he got cold feet when Taiga said that he had something important to tell him. And it could only be that thing, Taiga would surely break it off with him.
“Have you decided what you’ll be having?” Jun asked.
“Huh? Oh, yeah..” He returned his attention to the menu and quickly chose tagliatelle with portobellos and ricotta cheese. It didn’t really matter what he would eat, he had no appetite whatsoever. Jun ordered an eggplant lasagna and white wine for both of them, before returning the menu to the waiter.
“So we’re both vegan tonight, hmmm?”
Hokuto simply looked on, wondering if vegan is now some sort of a euphemism for something.
Jun smirked. “I think your mind is really not in this dinner,” she added apologetically.
Hokuto felt like the biggest shit on earth. “I’m sorry. It’s not you, it’s me.”
“You don’t need to apologize. I’m the one who asked you out, I’m already grateful you agreed to this dinner.”
“About that, uhm, is there anything you want to talk about?” He never really gave it much thought when Jun asked him out.
“Uhm, yeah, about that….” she trailed off, a slight flush crept to her cheeks. “This might seem very forward of me, but one thing I learned in this life is that I have to be assertive to get what I want.”
Hokuto agreed. “That’s a good attitude. So what can I help you with?”
Jun’s face turned to a deeper shade of pink as she asked, “I like you, do you want to go out with me?”
***
There were a lot of things running in Hokuto’s mind before Jun popped the question, but none of those prepared him to hear his co-star ask him out. He might be shocked by her question, but not shocked enough that he blurted out, “Sorry.”
Jun was flabbergasted to be rejected right off the bat, while Hokuto was also astounded to give her an answer so quickly and so rudely, it would be insulting if he tried to backpedal. He didn’t think Jun would stay and they ate their warm pastas in frigid silence.
It was Jun who broke the silence with a question. “Does he make you happy?”
Hokuto’s hand clenched around his fork. “How did –?”
“It was obvious the way you look at him back at the set, or maybe only obvious to me because I kept looking at you.”
“Ohhh…”
“And of course, you have no idea I’ve been looking at you. Then, I saw both of you at Matilda.”
“I’m sorry-”
“Please don’t apologize again,” Jun said sharply. “I felt like you already rejected me thrice tonight.”
Hokuto slowly shook his head. “I’ve also been rejected,” he said quietly.
“Hmmm?”
“He makes me happy, but my feelings for him have always been one-sided.”
"I don't think so," Jun said, looking ruefully at him, "maybe you were just busy looking elsewhere every time he looks at you."
They parted amicably that night, Jun stealing a kiss on his cheek, which gave the hidden paparazzi a picture they needed to create a splash. Hokuto could only sigh seeing the picture as it made rounds on Twitter, Jun messaging him to apologize for her brashness, while Hokuto became plagued with calls from his manager and his only two friends.
“How could you even ask that when you just scolded me for being addicted to Taiga?” Hokuto muttered to Kouchi, who despite not liking Taiga for him, lectured him on how wrong cheating is. He ended the call on a sour note, not because of Kouchi, but for the one person he was hoping would even be remotely jealous of that FRIDAY article.
“He probably doesn’t even read Friday, but it’s the trending topic on Twitter…” he murmured as he kept on checking his phone for any message from Taiga. When lunch came the next day and there was still zero message from Taiga, he resigned and composed a message that there was nothing between him and Jun. He was about to press “send” when a message from Taiga finally arrived, and the contents made him drop everything and run to Taiga’s apartment.
“Let’s end this.”